The Firefighter Academy Awards

I know, I know it was last week but I was a little busy, I’m sorry!

I really have very little interest in the Oscars and all of the phoniness that goes along with it, but it did cause me to pause and chuckle about what if the fire department hd it’s own version.

There should not be a department in this country that cannot relate to this one.

Best Actor / Actress
This is the guy or gal that hangs around the kitchen table and tells all the tall tales about fires that nobody ever remembers seeing them at. They tend to overcompensate for everything they have ever done, and they really might not be that good. They have 427 fire emblems and insignias and will be the first to tell you they are fearless but have no sick days left because they have called out for every hangnail they ever had!

Best supporting Actor / Actress
In my book this goes hands down to the best pump operators on all of your departments. There is some firefighter on the 6:00 PM news all dirty and macho, who would not be anything without the guy or gal that tied in their own feeder and managed a couple of handlines and maybe a master stream by them self!

Original Musical
Thats right, this is the guy or gal who makes more noise with the Federal Q or electronic siren and air horns while responding to a water emergency or pump out. You are all smiling right now because you are beginning to name names aren’t you?

Costume Design
These folks actually come in two categories. The ones that decorate their duty uniform or belt with more tactical or paramedical stuff then if batman were a surgeon. Then there are those that sew patches and add gadgets to their turnout gear. On some rare occasions you might find one that excls in both categories

Best Dance Direction
This usually has something to do with a production that involves much drama and usually some yelling around the front door. (Never actually entering the front door however!)

Makeup and Hairstyling
Don’t you just hate they guy or gal who can go through a second alarm, remove their helmet, remove their SCBA mask and they do not have a hair out of place? 20 years ago I worked with a guy who thought the front windshield of the truck was his makeup mirror. He would often be seen combing his hair while looking at his reflection in the window!

Hey have some fun with these, lighten up and smile this week. I am sure with this little seed there will be folks in stations actually making up their own actual little FF Oscars to be handed out in the kitchen at meal time!

Stay safe, and stay smiling! Firefighters have the greatest sense of humor of any profession.

Pete Lamb
Copyright 2013